So I didn't get the job.It all went downhill in the second interview I thought it would be a conversation, but no, that was turned into a circus. Seven questions answered to a panel of four, all taking copious notes to capture my responses. Not so informal. Not very comfortable. Especially when you need to sell yourself and your ability which you think may incense your boss who is across the table from you.
Why would that happen? Because we job shared for four months. Yeah, same job, same staff, same meetings, competing on a daily basis for some control, recognition, respect.
Long story short, I was actually told I was not someone management wants on their team. They need to know they'll get 100%, or so they actually said. My boss's boss had the nerve to try to get me to agree with her when she said, "Come on, you know you didn't always give it your all." An Emoji with wide eyes and steam shooting from the top of my red head would be perfect here.
She was referring to what happened during the period of the job sharing. Yeah, I knew that situation would be the death of me. Or at least my career there. But no one was looking when she didn't feel it necessary to support me. Or they were, but who cares about the stand-in when the real deal returns? The understudy is not the marquee draw, even when she's brilliant.
Am I pissed? Disappointed? Relieved? Humiliated? Shaking my head? YES!
When a few tears escaped that night as I told him (I think I was entitled to all of them), my hubby observed I was like the bachelorette who didn't get a rose. Rejection hurts, but is he really all that? While we find ourselves crying in the moment, the reality is that "thing" we're all striving to win over may have made us miserable in the end.
If we're going to use reality shows as a point of reference, it was more accurate to say I was feeling like I was voted off the island by my tribe. My peers don't want me anymore, and I'd prefer to think the reason is the one with my most influence, you know who, felt threatened by my ability. Come on ya'll, let's vote her off now before she wins another immunity!!!
I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and one of the voices in my head keeps chanting, "You dodged a bullet, my friend."
Kinda feeling that today. Finally, I'm feeling slightly amused about the whole thing. As I should be. Had I made it to the Final Three, I would have gotten all the jury votes for the million. Just ask anyone.
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