This was one highly charged week -- two job interviews back to back, mentally preparing for a flight out to Chicago for Dad's surgery, making and checking off lists, dealing with a shitload of issues on the job. I've been adding to and checking off my lists way more than I care to.
And then the letdown. That sweet release from everything.
Interviews behind me. My effort put forth, now I wait. Out of my hands, out of my control. I've done my best, no regrets. Thankfully!
Surgery postponed. Cancel the flight. Unpack. Cancel the meals I was going to have to pre-make. Plan to gear up at a future date for the emotional roller coaster I'll have to ride for this one.
Suddenly have time to decompress. Lovely, luxuriant time to relax. Maybe get over this three-week cold.
I haven't been this free of obligation for days! Free, being the key word. I feel like I've been unshackled. Not to run wild, but to feel some peace. To be released from worry about those things I've all I can to fix or direct this week. I actually feel a little giddy!
I'll say this about stress. When you're in the pressure cooker, it's quite unpleasant. I don't think I've perspired this much since puberty. BUT when it's over, when you've gotten through that thing that kept you up at night, that made your palms and pits sweat and your mouth dry, it's a rush. Sweet satisfaction from looking the beast, whatever that may be, right in the mouth and growling back.
I heard a line from a movie recently (can't remember, of course, which one), but one guy to the other said something like this. Courage comes later. Do that thing that scares the life out of you; the courage will come after.
It's true. Few of us are able to replace our fear with bravery and confidence in the face of those things that scare us to death.
But when you look fear in the eye and force yourself to do it anyway, sweet, sweet satisfaction. Euphoria when you do it well.
And then the letdown. That sweet release from everything.
Interviews behind me. My effort put forth, now I wait. Out of my hands, out of my control. I've done my best, no regrets. Thankfully!
Surgery postponed. Cancel the flight. Unpack. Cancel the meals I was going to have to pre-make. Plan to gear up at a future date for the emotional roller coaster I'll have to ride for this one.
Suddenly have time to decompress. Lovely, luxuriant time to relax. Maybe get over this three-week cold.
I haven't been this free of obligation for days! Free, being the key word. I feel like I've been unshackled. Not to run wild, but to feel some peace. To be released from worry about those things I've all I can to fix or direct this week. I actually feel a little giddy!
I'll say this about stress. When you're in the pressure cooker, it's quite unpleasant. I don't think I've perspired this much since puberty. BUT when it's over, when you've gotten through that thing that kept you up at night, that made your palms and pits sweat and your mouth dry, it's a rush. Sweet satisfaction from looking the beast, whatever that may be, right in the mouth and growling back.
I heard a line from a movie recently (can't remember, of course, which one), but one guy to the other said something like this. Courage comes later. Do that thing that scares the life out of you; the courage will come after.
It's true. Few of us are able to replace our fear with bravery and confidence in the face of those things that scare us to death.
But when you look fear in the eye and force yourself to do it anyway, sweet, sweet satisfaction. Euphoria when you do it well.
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